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Beyond Comfort Zones
How to Prevent Your World from Shrinking as You Get Older

Dear Friends,
Welcome to this week’s Act Three newsletter, where we explore ideas to enrich our lives and expand our horizons as we age. Today, we’re diving into a profound concept from the beloved Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön: the idea that our worlds can shrink if we’re not actively working to expand them.
This newsletter was inspired by my conversation with yoga teacher Jenni Antonicic in Season 1 of my Act Three podcast. Here is a clip where we are talking about this concept. The entire interview can be found here.
Here’s a summary of the clip:
1. The concept: If you don’t keep expanding, your world gets smaller, which is a challenging way to age.
2. General idea: Push yourself to expand your comfort zone into challenging yourself, but not to the point of overwhelm.
3. Law of inertia: Jenni relates this concept to Newton’s law, emphasizing that it’s easier to keep moving than to start moving after being at rest.
4. Natural tendency: People naturally organize their lives for comfort and efficiency, which can lead to a shrinking world if not consciously counteracted.
5. Holistic impact: This concept applies to physical, mental, and emotional aspects of life.
6. Examples: Jenni provides examples of how small daily choices (like using valet parking or having others carry groceries) can contribute to a shrinking world.
7. Goal: The aim is to continually expand one’s comfort zone, occasionally challenging oneself, but avoiding constant overwhelm.
The Shrinking Circle of Comfort
Pema Chödrön often uses a simple yet powerful visual to illustrate this concept: Imagine a circle drawn on a page. This circle represents our comfort zone, our familiar world. If we do nothing, this circle naturally tends to shrink over time. Our world becomes smaller, our experiences more limited, and our perspective narrower.

Breaking the Cycle: Expanding Your World
The good news is that we have the power to counteract this shrinking tendency. By consciously pushing our boundaries and embracing new experiences, we can expand our circle, enriching our lives in the process.
Here are some ways to do this:
1. Embrace Continuous Learning: Pick up a new skill, take a class, or dive into a subject you’ve always been curious about. (see last week’s newsletter about hobbies)
2. Try New Things: Whether it’s a new cuisine, a different route to work, or an unfamiliar hobby, novelty keeps our minds active and engaged.
3. Meet New People: Engage with individuals from different backgrounds, cultures, or age groups. Each person offers a unique perspective that can broaden your own.
4. Travel (Near or Far): Exploring new places, even in your own city, can provide fresh insights and experiences.
5. Challenge Your Assumptions: Regularly question your beliefs and be open to changing your mind.

The Benefits of an Expanding World
As we work to expand our circle:
• We become more adaptable and resilient
• Our empathy and understanding of others grow
• We discover new passions and interests
• Our problem-solving skills improve as we gain diverse experiences
• Life becomes richer, more colorful, and more fulfilling
💡 This Week’s Challenge
I invite you to reflect on your own circle. Has it been shrinking or expanding lately? Choose one small action you can take this week to push your boundaries and expand your world. It could be as simple as trying a new recipe or striking up a conversation with someone you normally wouldn’t.
✨ Remember, every small step counts. As Pema Chödrön teaches us, the journey of expansion is ongoing, and it’s never too late to start.
Here is a YouTube clip of Pema herself talking about this concept:
Stay tuned for weekly content about travel, health, relationships, identity, spirituality, doing good and starting a new venture as it relates to your third act/the next chapter in your life ✨
Please subscribe and forward this newsletter to others who are thinking about planning their third act. Thanks for your support 🙏.
Warm regards,
Cara Gray
Third Act Consultant, CPRC, CEPA™️
P.S. If you want to start planning your third act, set up a time on my calendar for a chat: Schedule a Chat with Cara
P.S.S. If you are curious about my consulting work, there are two options to work with me: deep-dive, transformative 1:1 consulting or a 90-minute intensive, quickstart session. Details about both options can be found here.